Where have I been?

Where have I been this whole time? Isn't this the essential "mom" question? It seems like the hours turn into days, turn into weeks, and then, I look and it has been 5 months since I posted on this blog. Shame on me! Is there even anyone reading this anymore? Have you all cyber-walked away, having given up hope that I would ever make time again for the luxury of writing a BLOG? Despite the fact that the blogging had screeched to a grinding halt, life has not....
Since my last post, we have enjoyed a 6 week summer vacation in Colorado, Vieques, and St. Croix. You learn a lot about yourself, your husband, and your kids when you take an extended vacation. For instance, I learned that my son has 7 different positions that he can contort himself into to sleep on an airplane. I learned that the "pay per view" movie RIP OFF on the airplane is SO worth it if you are with kids. I paid $5 for each of them. I would have paid $50 for the 92 minutes of quasi-distraction it provided - especially to the "flubber" that occupies the inside of my 4-year old son. Following Murphy's Law, the probability of the "flubber" personality emerging is inversely proportional to the size of the space my son occupies. The smaller the space, the "bigger" the energy! I'm waiting patiently for my patent on "4 year old calming serum" to come through. The other concept in my think-tank is a way to recreate, bottle, and distribute Boy Energy. Forget your venti mocha latte! Throw away the Red Bull! Here comes " BOOOOOOYYYYYYY POWWWEEERRRRR!!" I can hear it now...ch, ching!
I have learned to love, respect, and appreciate my little Energizer Bunny (c)! He inspires me to do me and be more. His sweetness makes my heart smile. I love sweet, sensitive boys. I understand how "Mama's boys" happen. He OWNS my little finger (it's not just rented space)! His Curious George-like curiosity is amazing and I've smelled a million more roses at his insistence...

Kayleigh is my thinker. Wise beyond her years, totally tuned in to the energy of others, compassionate, thoughtful.. I often contemplate her temperament and wonder how much I can actually take credit for. When people tell me how fabulous my kids are, can I really say, "Thank you!" as if I have created them all by myself? Do I really have to acknowledge the nature side of the argument? can't I conveniently just believe the nurture side? I'd love to say that they're fabulous because I am fabulous. Because we work so hard, so much. Because I have a degree in mental health and I KNOW how to parent. I'd love to take full credit for their gifts, but I can't...

Days after I gave birth to my first child, my mother passed along what I consider to be the BEST piece of parenting advice that I have ever received. She reminded me that my children were not my possession, to control or to own. They belonged to the world. My job was simply to guide them on their own journey- to walk with them for as long as they'd allow and even when they'd prefer I didn't. To help them to discover the ways in which they can change the world, but never to posses them. Perhaps that is the key to why my children are fabulous and sweet and sensitive, and happy, and energetic, and FUN - because they just get to "be"...